You can get an erection, but lose it halfway through. You can get yourself off without a problem, but with a partner it's a different story. Maybe you finish too quickly, can't finish at all, or things just aren't working the way they used to.

And sometimes, all it takes is once.

One night when things don't go to plan. One experience that plants a seed of doubt. Suddenly, the next time you're intimate, you're thinking about whether it's going to happen again instead of enjoying what's happening.

Sound familiar?

Here's what many men don't realise. When you start worrying about whether you'll get an erection, keep it or lose it halfway through, your body can shift into fight-or-flight mode.

And there's some fascinating science behind that.

Your nervous system helps regulate everything from your heartbeat and breathing to your sexual response.

When your brain senses danger or pressure, your body's alarm system can kick in. Adrenaline increases your alertness, while cortisol plays a role in your body's wider stress response.

That's great when you're running from a tiger. Not so great when you're trying to enjoy sex.

Unfortunately getting an erection isn't as simple as wanting one on demand.

Your brain, nervous system and blood vessels all have to work together.

The parasympathetic nervous system, often called your body's rest-and-digest system, helps activate the release of nitric oxide in the penis. Nitric oxide relaxes the smooth muscle within the erectile tissue, allowing more blood to flow in and helping an erection develop.

Now here's where things get interesting.

When you're worried about whether you'll perform, increased activity in your sympathetic nervous system ( the system involved in fight or flight ) can interfere with that process, god damn it!

Your mind might want sex, but your body can be responding to pressure instead of pleasure.

And that's where breathing and nervous system regulation become relevant.

When you're anxious, your breathing can become faster and shallower. Slowing your breathing, including breathing comfortably through your nose, can help reduce that heightened state of alertness and bring your attention back to the present.

Interestingly, nitric oxide is also produced in your nasal passages, although that isn't the same as the nitric oxide released locally in penile tissue during an erection.

An erection isn't something you can force by worrying harder.

The more you monitor what's happening between your legs, the more pressure you may put on yourself. And when anxiety is contributing to the problem, that pressure can make your body's natural response even more difficult.

And just like that, one experience can turn into a cycle.

Here's something else I want men to remember. Getting older doesn't mean you have to accept losing your erections or your sex life. Yes, our bodies change. But that doesn't mean every change is inevitable, permanent or something you should simply put up with.

Erections aren't just about what's happening between your legs. Your physical health, circulation, medication, stress, confidence, relationships and what's going on in your head can all influence how your body responds.

And when things change, it can affect more than sex. Men start questioning themselves. They avoid intimacy, worry about disappointing a partner or begin doubting a part of themselves they've never had to think twice about.

THAT'S WHERE THINGS CAN START TO CHANGE.

I've been working with men for over six years, listening to them talk about the things they rarely say out loud. Their erections, their sex lives, their confidence, their relationships, their sense of self and the questions they sometimes don't know who to ask.

At VIKTOR, there's no cold office, no desk between us and no awkward clinical atmosphere. We're sitting in the lounge, having a conversation. Just you and me.

Depending on what you're experiencing, there are different ways we can approach your sexual wellbeing.

We might start with a private consultation to understand your concerns and explore the physical, emotional and relationship factors involved. Or, where appropriate, we can discuss specialised nervous system regulation-focused bodywork, exploring how your body responds when the pressure to perform is taken away.

We'll work out which approach makes sense for you, what each session involves and whether it's worth involving your GP or another healthcare professional. Because sometimes there's more than one piece to the puzzle.

Because whether it's happened once or it's becoming a regular concern, you deserve to understand what's going on and what options are available.

And here's something else I want you to remember. Not talking about it won't change what you're experiencing either.

And I know you deserve better than that.